I OWE HOW MUCH?

Jesus Christ. I knew I needed a job. But it only truly sunk in a moment ago.

The reason for this revelatation?

Do you see that? I have been attending AUT for a little over one semester now, and I am already over eight thousand dollars in debt. Now that is a sober relisation, let me tell you.

The problem isn't the course fees. It isn't the text books, it isn't the stationary. It's bloody bureaucracy. No, you see, the problem is my Living Costs.

I am not eligible for a Student Allowance. Regardless of the fact I don't see a cent from them, the fact that my parents make a nice buck living in Thailand disqualifies me. I could get the money, if I were slightly more corrupt - it would be as easy as getting an NZ tax statement saying that my parents make no money and claiming that they are retired. However, I am unwilling to lie to get this money, regardless of how many other people in my exact situation do so.

So, I am living off what is known as Student Living Costs. This is money that StudyLink give to students on a weekly basis to get them through. I have been livivng off the $160 a week this provides for a semester now. The catch is - all of the money awarded for Living Costs goes onto the loan, and must be paid back some day.

As you can see, it stacks up fairly quickly. In fact, at this rate, given my planned 4 years of study, I'll be looking at a loan in excess of sixty five thousand dollars. I can't accept that.

I thought that I was going to be fine with that. But seeing that figure sitting there, it makes me realise that I am going to be in some serious shit if it continues for any longer.

So, I have two options. First is to get in touch with Work and Income and go on the dole. I don't really want to do this, you know - I can't help but think it wouldn't be a nice feeling. Realistically, it is no different to what I am doing now, but the critical difference is I wouldn't have to pay it back. But at the same time, this is taking government money, money that I'd rather see to go people who need it more desperatley than I.

Secondly, I could try harder to find a job. I have been trying thus far, but it has been somewhat half-hearted - I've been firing my CV at tech retailers and anywhere I think I might enjoy working, but no luck. So, I need to cast my net a little wider. As much as I have been trying to avoid it, I would even stoop to fast food, having seen this. A no holds barred, full on, crazed job search.

A month from now, I'll either have a job, or I'll be going on the dole. Because this, as it stands, can't go on.